FGM ruined my life | Tuko TV

FGM ruined my life | Tuko TV


The female genital mutilation took away my pride when a husband tells you that there’s something special about a woman who has not passed through that process it’s obvious there’s something he’s missing that has been taken away It’s like delicious food that has no salt I am Caroline Letoya from Emali Kajiado County I am from the Maasai Community According to our culture women go through Genital Mutilation and are married off at a tender age I went to school like a normal child I loved athletics while I was in class 3 I would participate and go to the Zonal levels I was circumcised in 1996 while in Class 6 After healing I continued with athletics but I would pass urine uncontrollably whenever I went for long distance I emptied my bladder before beginning a race but that never helped I was forced to stop because the problem persisted I tried netball but whenever I jumped high I felt pain in my abdomen and urine would just come out because of shame I had to quit this one too how much was the urine? a lot someone would easily notice did you ever talk to any female teacher in your school? No one knew. I used to disappear immediately after the urine came out teachers wondered why I dropped out of athletics yet I was their only hope during the long distance races I did not want to open up to anyone what happened during the circumcision? It used to happen in December so that in January you are completely healed and ready to go back to school My sisters and I were woken up at around 4 am, we were around 5 girls We were taken outside in the cold and there was some water that stayed overnight in the cold we were told during circumcision when that water is poured on our bodies we would not feel pain we stayed outside till 5 am when the lady who was supposed to circumcise us came I was the first one to be undergo the cut because I was the eldest Two women would hold your legs apart and another one the arms there was another woman who was milking so immediately after circumcision the milk would be poured on you Hygienically the healing process was so poor because you don’t shower you only apply milking jelly around your genitalia to prevent clotting of the blood you are not allowed to take water because you would experience back pains how long did it take before you were completely healed? like 6 weeks before resuming school I completed my primary education and my father said he had no money to educate girls He spoke to his friend so that he would marry me off to one of his sons I decided to speak to the church because I was a church girl the church leadership discussed the matter with my elder brothers together they made a contribution and bought a few items and that’s how I joined high school which school did you join? AIC Nunguni After I completed, my father was still determined to marry me off he had already completed the process and after 1 week I was married off I got pregnant 2 months later at 6 months I started experiencing a lot of pain I did not understand where the pain was coming from the pain grew worse daily the midwives kept speculating some said the child was moving around in the womb and they would massage me to reduce the pain at the clinic the nurses would check the status of the baby and the pressure of the mother only the pain never went away and when I was about to deliver, I experienced prolonged labour pains I delivered at home with the help of the midwives and it was extremely painful I got pregnant again and at 6 months the same pain recurred The pain was too much sometimes I failed to understand where it was coming from It was difficult for me to stand upright, I would bend most of the time My husband was a widower the wife left him with 2 children I would kneel down while washing their clothes because I could not bend I kept visiting the midwives to check if the child was okay at 7 months I decided to go to Kajiado hospital I was admitted and the doctors performed a scan they later discovered that I got injured in the process of FGM because I tried to resist I was treated and the doctors recommended I take a 1 month bed rest I kept visiting the hospital until when I delivered my child the doctor asked if I still wanted to have more children I said yes, I wanted to have a girl He said it was risky because of the damage that had been done to my genitalia after that my marriage become difficult, we had issues with my husband and I decided to leave I took my children along and after a while my step children followed me when life became unbearable for them their uncles assisted in their education and the eldest girl is now a teacher his brother will be joining his 4th form next year my first born has just completed Class 8 and his brother will be joining class 3 next year Does your urine still leak when you engage in a lot of activities? I never opened up to anyone about the problem until recently when the county’s first lady Mrs Edna advertised a free fistula camp I was enlightened and decided to seek medical attention The doctors reconstructed my genitalia and I am still in the healing process I used to pass urine while sneezing, coughing and whenever I carried something heavy but now I am okay Is it true to that a lady who has undergone FGM is faithful like people say? there’s only a difference during sex my husband used to tell me there’s a difference between a woman who has passed through FGM and the one who has not I never bothered to take those words seriously but he kept insisting I felt like maybe he got a woman who has not gone under the cut and now he was comparing us I later realized that a woman who has undergone FGM is like a delicious meal that has no salt FGM took away my pride as a woman when a husband tells you that there’s something special about a woman who has not passed through that process it’s obvious there’s something he’s missing that has been taken away I lost my talent in athletics because of passing urine uncontrollably I started sharing my story with my friends when I heard about maternal deaths I felt that by sharing someone would be enlightened and try as much as possible not to go through that I gained courage to speak against FGM I have realized that when it comes to delivery a woman who has gone through FGM has prolonged labour Parents should not allow their girls to undergo FGM instead let them grow the way God created them what about those who have undergone FGM and they are experiencing health issues? Don’t suffer in silence Get help, or even reach out to me I will assist you what’s the next step for you? I am planning to begin a community based organization I had approached several people and asked for help but due to the medication I have been receiving I decided to relax and heal first I had planned to sensitize people against FGM especially at this time when girls are being prepared to undergo it who are you targeting specifically? The young school girls I want to tell Kenyans, FGM has no importance in a woman’s life I thank the president for condemning FGM and reaffirming the governments support towards eradicating it My heart was filled with so much joy that the president was against it Parents should avoid it at all costs, let them not put their girls in problems that will affect their lives I have nothing against my parents, the community and those who made me go through that pain I won’t blame anyone because it was a must and that is in the past now but the community and other parents should not subject young girls through that pain which athletes give you motivation? I was so much motivated by Eliud Kipchoge during the INEOS 1:59 Challenge I love watching athletics more than any other sport My spirits were awakened while Eliud was on the track, I wanted to practice and run like him but because I am still under medication I was scared I might hurt myself would you love to meet him? Yes, I congratulated him on Facebook like everybody else was doing on social media One day if I travel to Eldoret I will go to his former school and try to connect with him though his teachers I just want him to know that I wanted to be like him I was so happy for him do you think if you pursed your talent you would be as good as him? Yes, because I know I had so much passion given a chance what would change? I would be really far in terms of athletics I had so much passion for it and that dream is so much alive you still feel you should be on the track? Yes, I love the sport even though it was taken away from me

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Comments

  1. Hakuna kazi ngumu kama kupepeta mwanamke amekatwa 'bin'…Unapiga starter lakini wapi.. anakukondolea macho tu..ni kama kugurumisha gari ya diesel imekaa top of Mt Kenya for a week..Engine baridiiii…

  2. Tutajua ukweli uko wapi…ama inadepend na hormones za mwanamke?i have my friend is a kisii na ametairi…ile nduru yeye hupiga during sex hata wenye hatujatairi we don't behave that way…nilimuuliza akasema yeye hufeel sana…i think sex inaanzia kwa brain…if you are not well prepared by a man hata akikuingia hakuna kitu utafeel…most men hurikia tuu sex kama chura/kuku…akimwaga analala kama gunia ya waruu…

  3. FGM should be illegal,underage forced marriages should be illegal,a bill signed to law na wazazi wanashikwa wakifanya hii ujinga wanafungwa jela….I love my country but kuna ujinga flani tunakuanga nayo na tunakuanga tumejiconvince ni mila,and we get mad when rest of the world look at as savages

  4. I wish I had 3 clitories I could have donate one for u. Those women shuld also rectify the mesh they did to u. I feel very bad if u say that it was not thea fall. Anyway sorry coz however pain u went thru God gave u a smile in ur face with 2kids & u can still educate others on FGM & its side effects. Thanks for sharing.

  5. Removing Critoris diyo kutoa utamu wa mwanamke kwa katika doa.
    Ujinga wa wanaume ili awe na control kwa bibi.yaani I usitake ngono
    Kama yeye hako tayali. Ati niyeye anafanya ni yeye anasema.ni yeye msema kweli…

  6. I've been following Tuko from Zambia for some time. What a wonderful platform for Kenyans to share their life experiences which are helping someone out there even places beyond the borders of Kenya. It's a sad thing to hear what our sisters in some traditions have to go through in life. So painful

  7. God never intended for a woman to go through FGM,it’s NOT natural.This is why her husband expressed the fact that there’s something special about a woman who hasn’t gone through FGM..
    She quoted “Something is missing or taken way from the man,when a woman has gone through FGM”..This substantiates the fact that FGM is NOT natural.

  8. Eye wonder who ever thought of this horrible idea! To remove a woman’s, womanhood, in the name of religion and to prevent a from being adulterous, is hideous. SMH

  9. My male circumcision has harmed my life. Cutting parts of girls or boys is always to numb the full sexual experience and theoretically reduce the sins of the flesh by religions and cultures that embrace genital reduction surgery. The same hygiene and disease lies are used to justify both FGM and MGM

  10. People don’t like change why you hating on this beautiful lady… Lynn won’t always be there that’s just life learn to adjust to situations Kenyans will always criticize no matter the circumstances you are enemies of your own …Haters leave this young lady alone na tusipishane na mtu hapa …

  11. Haters haters, Kenyans but why ? Let this young lady be the problem with human beings is that they hate change , Lynn won’t always be there, this is just how life is she did absolutely well, why do we always want to criticize others… it’s a shame … Aibu kwetu

  12. Dear Tuko Family, this is Lynn Ngugi. Thank you so much for the support you keep showing me and my team. We are totally grateful and we do not take it for granted. Now, I understand many of you are asking where I am, I can assure you I am still here. I know many of you were offended by the word " Mathee" but I can assure you my colleague Brenda Gamonde used it in good faith. As any other person new to this, I will continue to mentor her and I promise you, she is really dedicated and will soon be bringing you amazing content. Please let us correct her positively and lift her up as she continues to follow her passion.
    With love, Lynn

  13. FGM is reversible because the cut bean is just a tip of a clitoral system that surrounds your V on the inside..with that said, its still bad to cut it..unless its the most mild form..even removing clitoral foreskin is bad enough…tuelevuke jameni

  14. I one time heard a deputy head teacher, male teacher telling class 8 girls the same thing the lady has said. FGMed girls are like chakula bila chumvi. If a man can say so, mwanamke atapinga nini? wanawake ujuaji na kiherehere ndio inawazidi.

  15. People will always find fault in every ,just because of that one word 'mathe' you want to crucify her,am very sure she didn't even say it in a bad way ,people can really make you doubt your existence

  16. Come on peeps, we all start from somewhere,and we do make a lot of mistakes before we get our roots n still we do fall short so please, as Ngugi said, just let her be.

  17. Please consider including subtitles!! You have quite a large audience that is not conversant in the Kenyan language(s). Love the stories so much, just wish I could understand what is being said.

  18. Only a person who went through the same thing would understand what this feels like .its unfortunate some of us had to go through it , I wish you all the best dear in your campaign against FGM …

  19. “I know many of you were offended by the word mathe.” So everything the presenter said was kosher, until the mathe part? Wow!!!

  20. Why are some people asking where's Mrs Ngugi kwani mtu hawezi kuana hata ka vacation,or hata shughuli zingine za emergency

  21. Men who blame their wives or victimize ladies who are circumcised Should be ashamed of themselves I mean these ladies didn't circumsise themselves… Infact this thing is done bofore these kids even realise what's going on.. Try to understand them and be accomodative not adding salt to into injury.

  22. What ridiculous nonsence is this mutilation…Rob a woman of a normal life…a dignified life…stupid rituals and practices need to go….

  23. Me I went thru FGM and am very normal..in fact I don't regret it..my hubby died view months ago and we never had issues concerning sex or children bearin..

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