Pointless Celebrities – S11E19 “Reality TV” (17 Nov 2018)

Pointless Celebrities – S11E19 “Reality TV” (17 Nov 2018)


APPLAUSE Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I’m Alexander Armstrong and a very warm welcome to this reality television edition of Pointless Celebrities, the show where obvious answers mean nothing and obscure answers mean everything. Let’s meet this evening’s Pointless celebrities. APPLAUSE And couple number one. Hello, I’m Jennie McAlpine, I’m in Coronation Street and I was also in I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here 2017. And I’m Phil Tufnell. I used to play cricket for England and was King of the Jungle in 2003. APPLAUSE And couple number two. Hi, I’m Luisa Zissman. I was on The Apprentice in 2013 and Celebrity Big Brother in 2014. And I’m James Hill, the same, Apprentice 2014, and on Celebrity Big Brother in 2015. APPLAUSE Couple number three. Hi, I’m Trude Mostue, I’m a veterinary surgeon and I appeared on the television screen on Vets School first, many, many years ago. And then on any series that’s got anything to do with vets. And I’m Steve Leonard and I appeared in television series Vets In Practice, alongside Trude for many years, and still practise as a vet. APPLAUSE And, finally, couple number four. Hi, I’m Amber Davies and I was the winner of Love Island 2017. And I’m Marcel Somerville, I used to be in the Blazin’ Squad and I was a finalist in Love Island 2017. APPLAUSE Blazin’ Squad. Thank you all very much indeed, a very warm welcome to Pointless. It’s great to have you all with us. We’ll get a chance to chat a bit further throughout the show as it goes along, so that just leaves one more person for me to introduce. The public voted to save him – sorry, misread that – shave him. It’s my Pointless friend, it’s Richard. Hiya. Hey, everybody, good evening. APPLAUSE Good evening to you. Good evening. This is a mixed bag. Literally anything could happen, couldn’t it? Isn’t it? We’ve met two of these before, two of these people have been on Pointless before and they were on a team. I know. And that’s Jennie and Phil, who both did rather well as well. I think they’re going to be quite smart. You’ve got two vets there on podium three, though. Yes. You’d think they would be clever. You have to assume. Yes. So lovely that Steve has turned up in shorts. I know, isn’t that nice? Just in case a giraffe needs to be born or something. Yes. He’s absolutely… Cos, listen, you never know, right? You don’t. Yeah, a lot of people don’t know that the Pointless studio is in Kenya. Yes. They don’t know it. Listen, the first two rounds both on very different subjects, so let’s get going. Thank you very much indeed. Now, as today’s show is a celebrity special, each of our celebrities is playing for a nominated charity. We are therefore going to start off with a jackpot of £2,500. There it is. APPLAUSE Right, if everyone’s ready, let’s play Pointless. So just remember this, the pair with the highest score at the end of each round will be eliminated. Just keep yours scores as low as you dare. Otherwise, very, very best of luck to all four pairs. Our first category this evening is… ..Words. Can you all decide in your pairs who’s going to go first, who’s going to go second? And whoever’s going first, please step up to the podium. OK, let’s find out what the question is. Here it comes. We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many… Richard. Yes, simply looking for any word in the dictionary, that’s oxforddictionaries.com that ends A-I-N, please. As always, no hyphenated words, no proper nouns or anything like that, so any word in the English dictionary that ends A-I-N. Thank you very much. Jennie. Yes. Welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Now, Fizz, let’s talk a bit about Fizz. Go on, then. When you first started on Corrie, Fizz was basically only going to be in for about five episodes. Oh, five episodes, yeah, er, and then 17 years later… It’s 17 years, is it? Yeah, and I was 17 when I was in it, when I joined, so that’s nearly the same amount of time in my life. Wow, so what do you put it down to? What did you do in those five episodes that made them think, “Way, she’s a keeper”? Oh, I was gobby, I was gobby. I didn’t really, erm… Do you know what? I didn’t, I think cos I was that young and I’d not done much and I just went for it and just didn’t really… Yeah. Yeah, goodness knows, anyway. There we are. Now, words ending A-I-N. Yeah, OK. Words ending A-I-N, Jennie. OK, erm… Refrain. Refrain, says Jennie. Yes. Let’s see how many of our 100 people went for refrain. It’s right. Down to 16, not bad at all. APPLAUSE Good start to the show. Refrain, 16 points. That’s a lovely start on that first podium. Yeah, to stop oneself from doing something. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. James. Hi, Xander. Welcome to Pointless. Great to have you here. Thank you. Now before The Apprentice, what was your route into The Apprentice? Business. Oh. Being a bit of an opportunist, I suppose, and just trying to find a way to make big things happen in life. Would you say, honestly now, would you say that The Apprentice is a sort of springboard into actual business, or is it more of a springboard into media? No, absolutely, it’s definitely good for business, it opens doors, creates opportunity, and as a young person in business anyway, it’s not easy to be taken seriously, so it’s a great platform to get yourself out there and show people what you’re all about, really. And do you find people are taking you seriously on the back of The Apprentice? Yeah, absolutely, and I’m doing something really interesting at the minute, which is quite a rewarding opportunity and we’re working with young people, learning disabilities, and alongside the NHS and local authorities to try to get these people out of institutions and into the community. So, yeah, it’s served me very well. Very good indeed. Now, James, we are looking for words ending A-I-N. Right. This should be interesting, I can just about read and write, so I’m going to say sustain. Sustain. Yeah. Sustain. Let’s see how many of our 100 people said, “Sustain.” It is right. 16 is the only score we have posted so far. Sustain beats 16. Look at that, down it goes to 12. APPLAUSE Very well done indeed. Sustain. Yeah, it’s another good answer. Normally by this stage of a Pointless Celebrities, someone’s got 50 or 60-odd. Yeah. It’s a very impressive start. Yeah. Who’s going to let us down? Us. For sure, for sure. Thank you very much indeed. Now, Steve. Hello. I mean, to say you’re a vet born and bred is actually almost an understatement. I mean, your dad is a vet. That’s right. How many brothers have you got? Three brothers. How many of them are vets? All vets. All of them vets. Do you ever sit round the table as a family and not talk about animal welfare? Yeah, we talk about veterinary all the time, but then again, I’m married to a vet as well, so it’s animals all the way, I’m afraid. Now, you have got your certificate for small animals, I notice. Not the large animals. What’s the cut-off? When does a small animal… Yeah, so Great Dane is still a small animal. Miniature horse? Miniature horse, large animal. No way! Oh, really? Above your pay grade. Outside of my remit, I’m afraid. My wife takes over with the equine side, you see, and my brother does the cows, so… I see. OK. Now, Steve, what are you going to go for? Words ending AIN. I’m going to go safe, I’m going to go terrain. Terrain, let’s see how many of our 100 people said, “Terrain.” Well, 16 is the high score, 12 is the low, we passed 16, we passed 12, down to three, look at this, Steve. Look at that. I like that. Into single figures. And low single figures, to boot. Yeah, terrain, that’s what you catch to work. Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Now then, Amber. Hello! Let us discuss. When Love Island was being put together… Yeah. ..you had just been offered Amber in Hairspray. In Hairspray, I was, yes. The UK tour. Now then, how long did you have to make your mind up? So I got offered Hairspray the day before Love Island and I thought, what do I do? I’ve trained three years. But I think life starts at the end of your comfort zone, so I thought, let’s just take a risk and go for it. So what are you up to at the moment, Amber? Very, very busy, still doing all my acting classes and things like that, but it’s all like, right now, fashion and all that type of stuff, which I’m really, really passionate about, so I’m very, very grateful, in a conversation about my own range and things like that, so it’s really busy. Very exciting. Now we turn our attention to words ending AIN. I thought we’d forgotten about it then, I thought we’d moved on. I don’t know if you say it this way, but plantain? Plantain, very nice indeed. Is it? Let’s see how many of our 100… If it’s right, I mean. Who knows? Maybe, maybe not! Let’s see how many of our 100 people said, “Plantain.” It is right. So, 16 is the highest score, three is the low. Look at that, down to two. We have a new low score, very well done indeed, Amber. Plantain’s an excellent answer. I have a brain, everyone, I have a brain! That’s a great answer, very well done, plantain. Could be a type of a weed, or like a banana. A plantain. Mmm! Thank you very much indeed, Richard. We’re halfway through the round. Let’s have a recap of our scores. Two, the best score of the pass, Amber. Very well done. Thank you! Amber and Marcel looking absolutely supreme on the back of that. Steve and Trude on three, not bad at all. 12 is where we find James and Luisa. And then, yes, Jennie and Phil, about 16. It would appear you are very much out in front, Phil. We have to do something about that. It’s going to require a low score from you in the next pass. So, very best of luck with that. We’re going to come back down the line now. Will the second players please step up to the podium? There we go, Marcel. What’s happening? Marcel, can we just talk a bit about the Blazin’ Squad? Course you can. How did that all start? Well, we was all friends in school, there was ten of us. We always used to MC, and, like, go round each other’s house and make, like, DJ tapes. And then we went to the studio, and we, like… Well, we borrowed £20 off our parents each, to make a £200 demo. Made a demo, and then, after that it was like history. And that was it? Now let’s think about Love Island. Let’s turn our attention to that. You are now the love guru. I’m a love doctor, like, I’ve got a book. Yeah. It’s… If anyone needs any love advice, just pick up the book. It makes sense. LAUGHTER OK, now, Marcel, low score, two. If you can score 13 or less, you are through to the next round. We’re just looking with a word ending A-I-N. Contain? Contain. Here is your red line. If you happen to get below to get below this red line with contain, you are through to our second round. Let’s see how many of our 100 people said, “Contain.” It’s right. There you are, you’ve done it. Well done. Ten for contain. Taking your total up to 12. Very well played, as in Marcel’s book contains lots of advice I possibly won’t take, no offence. Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Trude, welcome, welcome. Thank you. So, this whole slew of vet programmes. Basically you came and studied at Bristol. That’s right. And they happened to be filming there. Yes, that’s exactly what happened. And you just became a massive overnight star. About 12 million people watched the series. Reluctant star. No-one would then let you go back. How did that go down with your friends and family back home in Norway? Well, they had, actually, very little idea what I was doing out here, apart from studying. So I almost forgot to tell them that there had been a camera crew almost every day last year! SHE LAUGHS In university, and they were told, and they realised when the newspapers were ringing, a year later. Wow, and you had to be on really good behaviour all the time? Well, that’s true. Actually, I was quite used to telling everything, why I did something when I was working, so, “Oh, yes, I am vaccinating a cat. “This could be quite dangerous.” Because I was so used to being directed. As some people said to me, you really kind of… The docu-soap thing has gotten into your kind of behaviour. So if I was having dinner, “I’m eating dinner, “and it’s actually quite dangerous “because I could choke on this potato!” Because we were so used to that type of thinking. You’ve managed to get that out of your system now? A little bit. I do feel it’s quite dangerous to stand here, and… Yeah, you just keep… Then I feel quite right about it. Well, you are right, it is dangerous because people ask you questions, like naming words ending A-I-N. Things like that. That’s right. I was thinking about restrain. Restrain? Yeah. Restrain. OK, here is your red line. If you can get below that with restrain, you are through to the next round. Let’s see how many of our 100 people said, “Restrain.” It’s right. Look at that! Down it goes to seven. Very well done indeed. Taking your total up to ten. Ten, the lowest total of the round, I can tell you. Yeah, restrain, as in, “I wish my partner would restrain “from wearing shorts on television.” Correct. That sort of thing. Correct. Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Luisa, welcome. Hello. Now, when you went onto The Apprentice, you were already quite well established. You’d already got various little ventures going. Yeah, I had three businesses going. So, yes, and then you turned up on The Apprentice, and how was Lord Sugar? Do you actually get…? You actually don’t have a lot of interaction with him, to be honest with you. He’s a big softie, know what I mean? Is he? He is. What you see really is what we see of him. Yeah, and do people really get as angry with each other as it looks like on telly? Yeah, it can get… I think I was one of the most argumentative candidates ever on The Apprentice, but it’s just… You’re so in the moment, and people are so frustrating when you think that you know best and they think they know best, so it is quite a hot-headed environment. Hmm. And then they go out of the boardroom and shake hands and give each other a big hug. Or they cry in the boardroom, which is one of the most annoying things. “You weren’t crying ten minutes ago, were you?” And then they’d break down. Anyway, Luisa, I’m going to stop you there. Let’s have a word ending in A-I-N. If you could possibly score three or less… Oh, gosh. ..you’re definitely in the next round. I really hope this is one word and not two. But I’m going to say wholegrain. Wholegrain. There is your red line there. If you can get below that with wholegrain, you are into round two. It’s right. Thank God it’s a word. Keep going. Keep going… Nervous moments on podium one. Keep going, keep going! You’ve done it! It’s a pointless answer. Very well done indeed. Wholegrain adds £250 to today’s jackpot, takes the total up to £2,750. It scores you nothing. It leaves your total at 12 and puts Phil and Jennie in a very interesting place. Yes. Wow! Yeah, very well played, Luisa. Terrific answer. We’re only supposed to eat… I don’t really understand it. We’re only supposed to eat wholegrains. Supposed to be much better for you than… Bits of grain. Bits of half grains… Better for our teeth, give them something to do, maybe. Yes, maybe it is. Yes, thank you. Oh, Phil! Oh, Phil. Oh, and you are our two veterans, the only returners. I can’t believe it. I’ve thought of loads now. Have you? I haven’t. Can I tell you my favourite moment? My favourite moment of this show so far was just before the titles started and you said, “Oi, what year was I King of the Jungle?” It seems a long time ago. Yeah! So tell me, when you’re out doing a show like that, how long does it take before everyone relaxes and gets used to the cameras? Well, I upset a few early on, actually, which was a bit tricky. Just by… I thought I was being sort of polite and friendly, but perhaps said the wrong thing, so it took me a couple of days to get back in their good books a little bit, but… Yeah, one of them being Toyah, actually. No! Yes, we… Pointless favourite. Yes, that’s right. But we got on very well at the end. Yeah, of course. I’m hoping we get on at the end of this. OK, now, Phil… Go on, Phil! Yeah, tricky. What we need here is a score of -5 from you. I know. So, it’s not going to happen. It’s not going to happen. So we’re gone. Aww. Let’s maybe… Let’s just go through the motions. Yeah, let’s go through the motions. What would you like to go for? I’m going to go with uncertain. Uncertain. They’ve all been great. No red line, but let’s see how far down the column we get with uncertain. It’s got to be in that kind of zone, hasn’t it? Look at that! It’s a pointless answer. Phil! That’s a classy way to leave the show. What about that? Adds another £250 to today’s jackpot, takes the total up to £3,000, scores you nothing, leaves your total at 16. Oh, that’s a great gesture. Gutted. That’s terrific stuff there. Well done. It’s like your batting average all over again, isn’t it? Yeah! Very impressive. There’s loads of good answers out there. Here’s some of the one-pointers. One point for chamberlain. Obtain, that’s one point. Multigrain would have scored you one point. Entertain would have scored one point, unbelievably. Restain, overlain, villain and chilblain. All would have scored you one point. There’s some lovely pointless answers though. Let’s take a look at a few. Birdbrain, a pointless answer. JENNIE: Oh, we should have got that! Me, me. Bloodstain. Chieftain, a pointless answer. Ordain, porcelain, scatterbrain, pointless answer, another one of the ironic pointless answers. Souterrain, which is an underground chamber. There’s uncertain, wholegrain as well, the two we had. Shall we take a look at the top three answers? Mmm. The ones that most of our 100 people said. The big, obvious answers. Main for 47. Rain for 60. And pain at the top there, on 72. You have pain and rain at the top. That’s a very British response. Isn’t it just? Thank you very much indeed. So, at the end of our first round, we have to say goodbye to a pair, and I’m so sorry, Phil and Jennie, it is you. You’ll just have to come and play again, but thank you so much meanwhile. Phil and Jennie, brilliant. Well done, love. Well done. Good luck, everyone. But for the three remaining pairs, it is now time for round two. Well done, everyone. We made it through round one, and you’ll have noticed we’re now down to three pairs. The Pointless squeeze is on. At the end of this round, we’ll be down to two pairs. Luisa, very well done indeed, our lowest scoring individual remaining contestant. But well done to all of you. You’ve made it through our words round, and here we are. Best of luck to all three pairs. Our category for round two this evening is… Could you all decide in your pairs who’s going to go first, who’s going to go second, and whoever is going first, please step up to the podium. OK, and the question concerns… Amazing! That’s more like it, isn’t it? Yes, this is my bag. On each board, we’re going to show you six quiz questions. Now, the answers to those questions are also the names of cocktails. Can you give us the correct answers to all of these? We’re going to give you the first letter of the answer for each one as well. Thank you very much indeed. So we’re looking for the answers to these clues, these questions. They also happen to be the names of cocktails. Here is our first board of six. I’ll read those all again. James. OK. Got the hang of it… I don’t know. I’m going to go for the James Bond one. So the word preceding Royale. It’s an absolute guess. I have not got a clue, by the way. I’m going to say, “Caipiroska.” “Caipiroska,” says James. Let’s see if that is right. James! Let’s see how many of our 100 people… Have I done it right? I think you’ve… You’ve given an answer that begins with C, Caipiroska. Let’s see how many of our 100 people said, “Caipiroska.” Oh, James. I… I’m sorry. I don’t, I’m not quite sure what’s going on anyway. OK. I’m afraid that scores you 100 points. I’m sorry. Oh, no, I should have gone first. I knew I should have gone first! Er, yeah, I mean, that’s a cocktail, but there isn’t a James Bond film called Caipiroska Royale. Oh, it’s a film! It’s a James Bond film. Well, it’s certainly a film, yeah. The clue, I tell you the clue to it being a film, is when we used the word film in the question. Erm, Trude. Yes? Are you au fait with our…? Yes. But… I don’t drink cocktails, er… It’s the first one. I’ll try the Manhattan. Manhattan. “The Manhattan,” says Trude. Let’s see how many of our 100 people said, “Manhattan.” It is right. Well, 100 is our high score. 66 is what you get for Manhattan. OK. Not bad. Yeah, whisky, vermouth and Angostura bitters, a Manhattan. Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Now then, Amber. Hello. This board is all yours. You said you loved cocktails. Do you want to talk us through some of those answers and then say which one you want to submit as your answer? Well, I’m not, like, sure on a few of them, but there is one I know, an old fashion. An old fashion. Let’s see, old fashion. What happens when we say old fashion? There we are, 48, for old fashion, or old-fashioned. Yeah, old fashion, old-fashioned. It’s like a Manhattan but without the vermouth, an old-fashioned. I don’t like whisky, but I quite like an old-fashioned. Shall we fill in the rest of these? We’ll start at the bottom, the modern-day title of the magazine… Cosmopolitan. Cosmopolitan. That would have scored you 24. Now, there’s a mystery one here, the Royale one, the Bond film. I thought it was Caipiroska Royale, but it isn’t. No. I, er… It might be Casino Royale? Yes, casino or cass-in-oh… Cass-in-oh, yeah. Not a film I’ve seen. 84 points for that. Well done to our 100. Do you know what insect was found in this thing? Grasshopper. A grasshopper. I would have said grasshopper. Grasshopper is the correct answer. If I would have gone first. It would have scored you 16 points. The character played by Jared Leto – good answer, if you got it. It’s the best answer on the board. Angel Face. Angel Face, made with Calvados, gin and apricot brandy. Yeuch! That’s a rough cocktail, isn’t it? I won’t be ordering that. Off your face, more like! Yeah, Angel Face. Thank you very much indeed. OK, well, we are halfway through our round. Let’s take a quick look at those scores. 48, Amber, the best score of the pass. Very well done on that far podium. Trude and Steve, 66 is where we find you. Not bad either. Now then, James and Luisa. I’m so angry at James. About the score… We had some nice low scores there, so I think there will be low scores on the next board. Luisa, you just have to find the low scores there. Oh, God. And hope they keep you in the game. You can do it. You got pointless last time. Best of luck. Can the second players please step up to the podium? OK. We’re going to put six more clues to cocktails up on the board, and here they come. I’ll quickly read those again. Marcel. Hello. Now, listen, if you can score 51 or less, you are into the head-to-head. All right. I’m going to go for World War II Japanese aircraft. Kamikaze? “Kamikaze,” says Marcel. Now, here is your red line. If you can get below this red line with kamikaze, you are straight into the head-to-head. Let’s see how many of our 100 people said it. Kamikaze. It’s right. 72. Well, don’t worry. Everyone else is yet to answer, so 120, you may well have done enough to keep yourselves in the game. Yeah, vodka, triple sec and lime juice. That sounds quite nice. I’d have a vodka, triple sec and lime juice. I think so. Don’t drink at home, kids. No. Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Now, Steve, you are on 66, which means 53 or less keeps you in the game. Yeah. I don’t drink either. Total teetotal. I do like tools, though, so I’ll go with screwdriver. Screwdriver, says Steve. Here is your red line. If you get below this red line with screwdriver, the head-to-head awaits. Let’s see how many of our 100 people said, “Screwdriver.” It’s right. 59. Not bad. I think you may have done enough there. Let’s see. 125 is your total. Yeah, vodka and orange juice. They say it came from Americans stationed in the Middle East on oil rigs, who used to drink it out of cans, so they would open up the lids and stir it with a screwdriver. Oh. Yeah. I don’t know if that’s true. Thank you. Now, so, Luisa… No pressure! Luisa, just a little bit of pressure here. You have to score 24 or less. Do you want talk us through the rest of those? A drink of espresso coffee diluted with water is Americano. That’s probably going to be really high. A prickly shrub, especially of a blackberry. I don’t know why I can’t get that one. Er, I’m going to say British author, Agatha Chris… Agatha. OK, an Agatha. I’ve got no idea if that’s right. I don’t think that’s right. All right, well, here is your red line. 24 is what that represents. If you can get below that with Agatha, you are through to the next round. How many of our 100 people said, “Agatha”? Is it right? Oh, bad luck! I’m afraid not an Agatha, although it sounds delicious. I feel better now. That is an incorrect answer, scores you 100 points… Oh, yeah, why would that be Agatha! It’s a perfectly good guess, given that clue as well, but it is… Alexander. As in brandy Alexander. Would have scored you ten points as well, would have seen you through. You were quite right about the top answer, and it is an Americano. Would have scored you too many points, you were right about that. Would have scored you 32. Now, the prickly shrub. Let’s get that out of the way. Bramble. Bramble. Oh, my God! That’s so stupid of me. Would have scored you 23. And the Australian tree… Mimosa. Mimosa, and that’s the best answer up there. Would have scored four. Well done if you said that. Thank you very much indeed, Richard. So, at the end of that round, the pair who are heading home with a high score of 200, I’m so sorry, Luisa and James, it is you. The only two pairs to have left have each left a little bonus in the jackpot, so thank you very much. That’s good enough for me. Very well done. Luisa and James! Fabulous. Thank you. Thank you. But for our two remaining pairs, it’s now time for the head-to-head. Well, congratulations, Marcel and Amber, Steve and Trude. You are now one step closer to the final and a chance to play for our jackpot, which currently stands at £3,000. We’ve reached the point where we have to decide who’s going through to the final to play for that jackpot. We do that by making you go head-to-head, but the difference is you’re now allowed to play as a pair, so you can chat before you give your answers, and the first to win two questions in this round will be playing for that jackpot. This will probably go down to the wire, I would imagine, but anyway, best of luck to both pairs. Let’s play the head-to-head. Here is your first question, and it concerns… Richard. We’re going to play you five clips from number one singles by girl groups, UK number one singles. Can you tell us the names of any of the acts who released these, please? Thank you very much indeed. We are looking for the names of the girl groups that had hits with these tracks, and here is our first track. It is A. # ..stressed without you but I’m chilling # You thought I wouldn’t sell without you, sold nine million # I’m a survivor, I’m not gonna give up # I’m not gonna stop, I’m gonna work harder… # Here’s B. # When will I see you again? # When will we share precious moments? # Here’s C. # Is this burning # An eternal flame # Say my name # The sun shines through the rain # A whole life so lonely # And then come and ease the pain… # Here’s D. # Say you’ll be there # I’m giving you everything # All that joy can bring # This I swear… # And here’s E. # Words don’t mean a thing # I’m not listening # Keep talking, all I know is # Mama told me not to waste my life # She said, spread your wings, my little butterfly… # OK, now, Marcel and Amber, because you’re our low scorers, you get to answer first. We’re going to go for E, Little Mix. Little Mix. Little Mix for E, say Marcel and Amber. Now then, Steve and Trude, do you want talk us through all the others? A, you thought was… Destiny’s Child. Destiny’s Child. B, you think Diana Ross and the Supremes. Which was C? Was that, er, potentially Bangles? Mmm, or the Bangers. No, not the Bangers. Not Bangers. That’s a different group. Yes. D was Spice Girls, wasn’t it? And then E, I’d no idea, but these guys think that’s Little Mix. So we’ll go with Destiny’s Child or the Supremes. The Supremes. For B. B. For B. OK, so we have Little Mix for E and the Supremes for B. Marcel and Amber said Little Mix for E. Let’s see how many of our 100 people said that. It is Little Mix. That’s a good answer. Look at that, down to 16. Very well done indeed, Marcel and Amber. Meanwhile, Steve and Trude have gone for the Supremes for B. Let’s see how many of our 100 people said the Supremes for B. Oh, bad luck! Not the Supremes. Well done, Marcel and Amber. That means, after one question, you are up 1-0. Yeah, worth the risk, though. It’s a terrific answer from Marcel and Amber, B is the only one that would have won you the point. I’ll tell you what it is when we get to it. Let’s listen to A. As everyone knew, that is Destiny’s Child. Would have scored you 36 points. B… Not the Supremes, it’s The Three Degrees. The Three Degrees, their only number one hit. It would have scored 12 points as well. It’s the best answer up there. Er, C. Quite right, it’s not the Bangers, but it is The Bangles. That would have scored 26 points. And D, I think everyone knew. It is, of course, the Spice Girls. Would have scored you 45. Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Here comes your second question. Steve and Trude, you get to answer this first but you have to win it to stay in the game, so good luck. Our second question this evening is all about… Richard. Yeah, we’re going to show you five words now which all represent one of the Seven Dwarfs, but which of the Seven Dwarfs are we describing here? Thank you very much indeed. So, which of the Seven Dwarfs are described by these five clues? And here they come. There we are, five synonyms for five of the Seven Dwarfs. Now, Steve and Trude, you will go first. OK. OK? Yeah, fine. We’re going to go with sternutatory, which is Sneezy. Sneezy, say Steve and Trude. Ooh, they love that in the room. They do! Sneezy. OK. Now then, Marcel and Amber, do you want talk us through the rest of those? We’re struggling. Er, all right, so coy obviously means a bit shy, but I don’t know who’s the shy one. Who’s the shy one? I don’t know. Yeah, I have no idea. Shall we just…? We don’t know. All right, but, we obviously, apart from all the other words, we clocked that medic would be Doc. Doc. OK. So we have Sneezy and we have Doc. Steve and Trude said sternutatory means sneezy. Let’s see how many of our 100 people said that. It absolutely does mean sneezy. And down it goes to 20. Good score there. I imagine that’s going to take some beating, but let’s see. Can Doc do it? Marcel and Amber have gone for Doc for medic. Let’s see how many of our 100 people said that. It’s right. 71 for Doc, which means Sneezy wins it. Well done. Steve and Trude, you’re back in the game. After two questions, it’s 1-1. Terrific answer, best answer on the board, no surprise. Let’s take a look at the rest of these. Xander, sullen? Grumpy. Grumpy, yeah. Would have scored you 45. Coy? Bashful. Bashful. And that would have scored you 50. And somnolent? Dopey. Sleepy. Oh, Sleepy! Of course, Sleepy. Would have scored 53, so Sneezy’s the best answer up there. There we go. Thank you very much indeed. OK, here comes your third question. Whoever wins goes through to the final and plays for that jackpot, so best of luck to both pairs. Our third question, our decider this evening, is all about… Five clues where either the question or the answer has something to do with cotton. Can you give us the most obscure answer? Thank you very much indeed. Let’s reveal our five cotton clues and here they are. I’ll read those all again. There we are. Marcel and Amber, you will go first. Are you serious? This is really not… Used to make jeans and work wear. Oh, work wear. Denim? All right, we’re going to go for denim, for… Denim, for the hard-wearing cotton fabric. OK, denim, say Marcel and Amber. Now, Steve and Trude, do you feel like talking us through the rest of that board, if you can? Even if it’s just hazarding a guess. Yeah, so band leader, no idea. I don’t even know the 1984 Cotton Club, love my films, but don’t know that. Cotton Eye Joe, I could dance to it in these shorts but literally no idea. The beetle, to be honest, it’s going to be a cotton weevil of some sort, I’d say, so I’m going to have a stab at cotton weevil. The cotton weevil. Yeah. Cotton weevil. All right, so we have denim and we have cotton weevil. Now, Marcel and Amber have gone for denim, the hard-wearing cotton fabric from Nimes. Let’s see if that’s right, let’s see how many of our 100 people said it. It is right, it is denim. Very well done indeed, Marcel and Amber, 62… ..is what you score there. Now then, Steve and Trude have gone for a cotton weevil responsible for the devastation of the US cotton crop in the early 20th century. How many of our 100 people went for cotton weevil? Is that right? It is right. THEY LAUGH It is right, down it goes, very well done indeed. Can I just say, thank goodness the vets got that right! Steve and Trude, very well done indeed. Five trumps 62 and it means after three questions you are eventually through to the final, 2-1. I would have taken weevil, so I have to take cotton weevil. The very specific one, or certainly the main culprit, was the boll weevil, but weevil is the correct answer, so cotton weevil is absolutely acceptable, well played. Best answer there, it will not surprise you, unless there’s other vets at home who know about weevils. The band leader was… Joe…? Billy Cotton. Oh, Billy Cotton, of course. Fearne Cotton is his great-niece. That would have scored you 33 points. The film, pick a district of New York famous for jazz? Harlem. Right. 14 and one of the catchiest songs of all time, Cotton Eye Joe… Yeah. Which is by Rednex. Rednex, good Scandinavian band, Trude, Rednex. It would have scored you nine points, so boll weevil, the best answer there – well done if you said that. Thank you very much, Richard. The pair leaving us at the end of that round, I’m afraid it’s Marcel and Amber. My goodness, what a game attempt that was, though. I knew this was going to be close, I said it would be close, and sure enough, it was. You’ve been fantastic, both of you, through the show. It’s been such a pleasure having you on. Thank you so much. Marcel and Amber. But for Steve and Trude, it is now time for our Pointless final. Congratulations, Steve and Trude, you have seen off all the competition and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy. You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot and at the end of today’s show the jackpot is standing at £3,000. There it is. Well, I have to say, that was touch-and-go, but you were carried through on a sneeze and a weevil, so it’s fine. It’s going to bug them, isn’t it? Yeah, I think it is, it is. But, listen, what we have to do now is make sure that you win this jackpot for your charities. You get to choose your category. There will be four things on the board, let’s hope something appeals to you. We have got… 1980s musicals, I don’t like musicals. OK. I don’t play golf. Fashion, I’m not that interested actually. It looks like it’s Friends! OK, Friends it is. Very best of luck. We’re looking for any of the following, please. Any word of five or more letters that appears in the title of any episode of Friends. They always have titles, so any word of five or more letters. Any word of five or more letters to the lyrics of I’ll Be There For You, the theme tune to Friends, or a slight curveball, we’re looking for any cast member of Run, Fatboy, Run, the comedy film directed by David Schwimmer. So words of five or more letters that appear in the title of any episodes, or in I’ll Be There For You, or according to IMDB, any of the cast of Run, Fatboy, Run directed by David Schwimmer. Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Now, you’ve got up to one minute to come up with three answers, and all you need to win that jackpot for your charities is for just one of those answers to be pointless. Are you ready? Yes. Yes. OK, let’s put 60 seconds up on the clock. There they are, your time starts now. Have you seen the film? Yes, I have. The only person I know in that is Simon Pegg, so the lyrics, I’ll Be There For You, so, second… HE HUMS SONG TO HIMSELF Months, months. You know them. You’re going to go through the whole… Yeah, I am, I’m going… You keep thinking about five more letters that appear… Yeah, OK. Erm… So we’ve got Things, Eight, Second, there’s three words that are in… more than five words in the lyrics of I’ll Be There For You. Obviously There is written on there, so I’m hoping… Ten seconds left. So we’ve got Simon Pegg, but he’s the only person I know in it so I think it will be Second, Month, Eight. OK, that is your time up. I now need your three answers. What can you give me? Second. Second. Month. Month. Eight. Eight. And these are all… Words of five or more letters in the lyrics of I’ll Be There For You. Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer do you think? Eight. Eight, we put last. Least likely to be pointless? Erm, Second. OK, so let’s put those answers up on the board in that order then, and here they are. We have got Second, Month, and Eight, three perfectly good answers there. Now, one of those could easily be pointless and win you that jackpot. Which charities are you playing for, Steve? I’m going to ask you first. The People’s Dispensary for Sick Animals, otherwise known as PDSA, which is the UK’s largest and oldest veterinary charity, it’s 100 years old. Very good. Trude? I’m playing for Blue Cross, which is a similar but a little bit smaller charity. Very good indeed. APPLAUSE Two lovely charities there, let us hope that one of these answers is pointless and will win that jackpot for you, and for them. Your first answer was Second. In all three cases here, we were looking for words of five or more letters from the lyrics to I’ll Be There For You. This is the one you thought was least likely to be pointless. If it is pointless it will win you £3,000 for your charities. How many of our 100 people said, “Second”? It’s right. All it has to be now is pointless for it to win you that jackpot of £3,000 for your charity. Second now takes us down through the teens and into single figures. Still going down. Three. Not bad. Three people got Second. I bet they know the whole thing though, don’t they? I know, but did they go as far into the song as you did, Steve, that’s the point. Your second answer was Month. OK, if this is pointless, it wins you £3,000 for your charities. How many people said, “Month”? Again, Month is right. Your first answer, Second was absolutely right, took us all the way down to three. Month meanwhile takes us down through the 20s, we are through the teens, we are into single figures, we are still going down. Three again! I mean, don’t get me wrong, three is a brilliant answer, that’s a fabulous score. In this round, though, we only accept pointless answers, so I am afraid however good it is, we have to turn our attention to your third and final answer, the one you thought was your best shot at a pointless answer, which is Eight. Now, if this is pointless, you will win your charities £3,000. Let’s see how many of our 100 people said, “Eight.” Well, it’s right, so far three has been the order of the day. Your first answer of Second scored three, your second answer of Month scored three. Now Eight is in single figures, down we go, we still go, we pass three. Oh, no! Oh! Oh! Listen, three fabulous answers there, three, three, one, that is… Some other words that I would say that are slightly longer than… Hmm. I’m afraid however good those were, you didn’t manage to find that all-important pointless answer, so I’m afraid you don’t win today’s jackpot for your charities. However, as it is a celebrity special we’re going to donate £500 to each of our celebrity pairs for their respective charities. You have been brilliant. We’ve loved having you on the show. Thank you so much, and don’t forget you each get to take home a Pointless trophy, so very, very well done indeed. Steve and Trude. That was so unlucky, you’ve been brilliant from the start of the show, it’s been a pleasure having you on. I’m going to make your day slightly worse by saying you did give a pointless answer in your 60 seconds as well, which was Things. Oh! That was a pointless answer, but why would you win money with the word Things, surely? But you would have done. Now, let’s take a look at the pointless answers in the different categories. We’ll start with words of five or more letters in this. Armadillo, Richard, Screamer, Unagi. Not all on the same one. I’ll tell you the only ones that scored points, so if you got a different one at home… Wedding, Where, Thanksgiving, Party, Monkey, Super, Going, Which, Proposal, Detergent, George, Lesbian, Christmas, Blackout… Again, that wasn’t one episode. Those are the ones that scored points. Everything else was a pointless answer, five letters or above. Words of five or more letters in the lyrics of I’ll Be There For You. You could have had Breakfast, Knees, Mother, Warned, you could have had Began, Brought, Burned, Could, Didn’t, Going, Great, Laugh, Still, There’d, These, World, Worst and Things. And the cast of Run, Fatboy, Run, some big names here. These are pointless answers. David Walliams, a pointless answer, Dylan Moran, Floella Benjamin, Hank Azaria. Better known from The Simpsons. In fact, every single person in that film apart from Simon Pegg and Thandie Newton, everyone else was a pointless answer. Very well done if you said one of those at home. Thank you very much, Richard, and thank you so much, Steve and Trude, we’ve loved having you on. Thank you for playing and playing so well, Steve and Trude. Thank you. Join us next time, when we’ll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless. Meanwhile it’s goodbye from Richard. Goodbye. And it’s goodbye from me, goodbye.

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  1. The reason "Mimosa" was the lowest answer is because the clue is crap. "Australian tree with fernlike leaves and yellow flowers with the Latin name Acacia dealbata" isn't actually a Mimosa tree, it's a Silver Wattle. It's confused with a Mimosa because the leaves are somewhat similar, but it is–as one might guess from the scientific name–an Acacia. It's only a "Mimosa" in the same way that Americans think sweet potatoes are yams. Apart from the most common type–Albizia julibrissin–all of the scientific names for varieties of Mimosas begin with, shockingly, the word "Mimosa": Mimosa aculeaticarpa, Mimosa quadrivalvis, Mimosa borealis, Mimosa diplotricha, Mimosa pigra (which DOES grow in Australia but looks nothing like Acacia dealbata and is ruthlessly cut & razed, as it's considered a weed) and Mimosa pellita.

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