Trump’s Syria Victory Speech Has People Saying ‘Wow’

Trump’s Syria Victory Speech Has People Saying ‘Wow’


ALL, WELCOME TO “THE LATE SHOW.” I’M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. WELL IT IS ANOTHER– YET, YET
ANOTHER BEWILDERING DAY IN AMERICA– UP IS DOWN, RIGHT IS
WRONG, TRUMP IS PRESIDENT. I’LL TELL YOU ONE THING, YOU
HAVE GOT TO HAND IT TO THE GUY, HE’S WILLING TO CALL HIS MOST
DISASTROUS BLUNDERS HIS GREATEST VICTORIES. IF HE WERE IN CHARGE OF THE
HINDENBERG, IT WOULD HAVE SOUNDED LIKE THIS:
>>AND THE BACK MOTORS ARE JUST HOLDING ENOUGH TO KEEP IT IN
PLACE. AND ANOTHER ON-TIME ARRIVAL! OH, THE VICTORY!>>Stephen: CASE IN POINT:
TRUMP’S COMPLETE BETRAYAL OF OUR KURDISH ALLIES AFTER HIS
PHONE CALL WITH TURKISH PRESIDENT ERDOGAN. THIS IS SO DESPISED ON BOTH
SIDES OF THE AISLE THAT THE HOUSE VOTED TO CONDEMN TRUMP’S
ACTIONS 354-60. THAT IS THE SORT OF
BIPARTISANSHIP YOU ONLY SEE IN, LIKE, NAMING A POST OFFICE. IN FACT, CONGRESS JUST APPROVED
THE “DONALD TRUMP’S SYRIA POLICY SUCKS FOREVER” STAMP. NOW, IT CAN BE–
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IT CAN BE– IT CAN BE ARGUED
THAT GETTING OUT OF THE ENDLESS WARS IN THE MIDDLE EAST IS NOT A
BAD THING. I UNDERSTAND THAT PART. BUT THE WAY TRUMP DID THIS, MAKE
NO MISTAKE WHO WINS HERE: HIS BUDDY VLADIMIR PUTIN, WHO
YESTERDAY MET WITH ERDOGAN TO CARVE UP SYRIA LIKE A CHRISTMAS
SHAWARMA. SO, NATURALLY, THIS MORNING
TRUMP GAVE A SELF-CONGRATULATORY SPEECH FROM THE WHITE HOUSE AND
CLAIMED OTHERS WERE CONGRATULATING HIM, TOO.>>TODAY’S ANNOUNCEMENT
VALIDATES OUR COURSE OF ACTION WITH TURKEY THAT ONLY A COUPLE
OF WEEKS AGO WERE SCORNED. AND NOW PEOPLE ARE SAYING “WOW,
WHAT A GREAT OUTCOME. CONGRATULATIONS.”>>Stephen: (AS TRUMP)
“YES, A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE SAYING, ‘WOW, WHAT A GREAT
OUTCOME. CONGRATULATIONS’– SPECIFICALLY,
ERDOGAN AND PUTIN. THEY KEEP SAYING IT TO EACH
OTHER AND GIGGLING.” THEN IMMEDIATELY HE TOOK THE
CONGRATULATIONS BACK.>>PEOPLE ARE SAYING “WOW, WHAT
A GREAT OUTCOME. CONGRATULATIONS. IT’S TOO EARLY TO ME TO BE
CONGRATULATED, BUT WE’VE DONE A GOOD JOB. WE’VE SAVED A LOT OF LIVES.>>Stephen: (AS TRUMP)
“PLEASE, PEOPLE, I JUST MADE UP. IT’S TOO EARLY TO CONGRATULATE
ME. OH, WHAT? YOU ALREADY GOT ME THIS CAKE I
ORDERED FOR MYSELF? ( LAUGHTER )
WOW. WHAT A GREAT OUTCOME. CONGRATULATIONS.” NOW, TRUMP DECLARED A PERMANENT
PEACE IN THE REGION, KIND OF, SORT OF.>>THE GOVERNMENT OF TURKEY
INFORMED MY ADMINISTRATION THAT THEY WOULD BE STOPPING COMBAT
AND THEIR OFFENSIVE IN SYRIA AND MAKING THE CEASE-FIRE PERMANENT,
AND IT WILL, INDEED, BE PERMANENT. HOWEVER, YOU WOULD ALSO DEFINE
THE WORD “PERMANENT” IN THAT PART OF THE WORLD AS SOMEWHAT
QUESTIONABLE. ( LAUGHTER )
>>Stephen: WAY TO UNDERCUT YOURSELF DURING AN ANNOUNCEMENT. ( AS TRUMP )
“WE HAVE ACHIEVED PERMANENT PEACE– BY WHICH I MEAN, A VERY
TEMPORARY PEACE. THAT IS MY PROMISE– BY WHICH I
MEAN, MY SUGGESTION. REALLY JUST SPITBALLING HERE. POINT IS, WAR’S OVER. LET’S GO FORCIBLY KISS A NURSE
IN TIMES SQUARE.” AND TRUMP MADE ONE THING CLEAR:
THIS IS OUR FAKE VICTORY, AND WE’RE NOT SHARING!>>THIS WAS AN OUTCOME CREATED
BY US, THE UNITED STATES, AND NOBODY ELSE. NO OTHER NATION, VERY SIMPLE.>>Stephen: (AS TRUMP)
“JUST REMEMBER, WHEN YOU WRITE IT DOWN IN THE HISTORY BOOKS, IT
WAS MY IDEA, AND MINE ALONE, TO GIVE TURKEY AND RUSSIA
EVERYTHING THEY WANTED.” ( LAUGHTER )
THEN TRUMP BRAGGED ABOUT THIS NEW BUFFER ZONE BETWEEN THE
TURKISH BORDER AND THE KURDS.>>WE ARE ACHIEVING A MUCH MORE
PEACEFUL AND STABLE AREA BETWEEN TURKEY AND SYRIA, INCLUDING A
20-MILE-WIDE SAFE ZONE. AN INTERESTING TERM, “SAFE
ZONE.” THAT’S THE TERM WE ARE USING. HOPEFULLY, THAT ZONE WILL BECOME
SAFE. THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF
PEOPLE HAVE BEEN KILLED IN THAT ZONE OVER THE YEARS. ( LAUGHTER )
( LAUGHTER )>>Stephen: THAT DOESN’T
ACTUALLY SOUND THAT SAFE. MAYBA MAYBE WE SHOULD CALL IT
THE “DANGER ZONE.” I HEAR THERE’S A HIGHWAY THAT
GOES STRAIGHT TO THAT. TRUMP SPOKE ABOUT HIS DECISION
TO ABANDON AMERICAN ALLIES LIKE A GOTH POETRY TEEN.>>LET SOMEONE ELSE FIGHT OVER
THIS LONG-BLOODSTAINED SAND.>>Stephen: FUN FACT:
BLOODSTAINED SAND– ALSO THE PAINT SWATCH THEY USE FOR
TRUMP’S FACE. ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IT’S A GOOD MATCH.>>Jon: SIMILAR COLOR. I SEE THAT.>>Stephen: THEN TRUMP PRAISED
OUR KURDISH ALLIES FOR RETREATING TO AN AREA THAT OUR
ENEMIES TOLD US IT WAS OKAY.>>THE AMERICAN DELEGATION
NEGOTIATED THE ORIGINAL FIVE-DAY CEASE-FIRE THAT ENDED KURDISH
FIGHTERS TO SAFELY LEAVE. IT JUST GOT THEM TO A POINT
WHERE, FRANKLY, THEY WERE ABLE TO– IT ENABLED THEM TO GET OUT,
TO GO AND MOVE, REALLY, JUST A FEW MILES IN A SLIGHTLY
DIFFERENT DIRECTION. ( LAUGHTER )
>>Stephen: SO WE LOST THEM? WE DON’T KNOW WHERE–
( AS TRUMP ) “THE KURDS GOT OUT, BUT I WILL
NEVER, EVER GET OUT OF THIS SENTENCE, WHICH IS GOING
TREMENDOUSLY, BY THE WAY, A LOT OF PEOPLE CALLING UP AND SAYING,
‘WOW, GREAT SENTENCE. CONGRATULATIONS ON SUCH A
SUBJECT-VERB GUMBO.” THE PRESIDENT– GUMBO, RIGHT,
JON? THE PRESIDENT ASSURED THE
PUBLIC– THE PRESIDENT ASSURED THE PUBLIC THAT ISIS PRISONERS
HAVE BEEN CONTAINED– YOU KNOW, ISH.>>GENERAL MASLOOM HAS ASSURED
ME THAT ISIS IS UNDER VERY, VERY STRICT LOCK AND KEY. AND THE DETENTION FACILITIES ARE
BEING STRONGLY MAINTAINED. THERE WERE A FEW THAT GOT OUT, A
SMALL NUMBER, RELATIVELY SPEAKING.>>Stephen: WHAT? HOLD ON. “A FEW” GOT OUT? THEN THEY AREN’T UNDER STRICT
LOCK AND KEY! I WOULDN’T SEND MY TODDLER TO A
DAYCARE THAT ADVERTISES “CHILDREN ARE SAFE UNDER LOCK
AND KEY. A FEW GOT OUT, BUT A VERY SMALL
NUMBER, RELATIVELY SPEAKING.”

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Comments

  1. this trump president must be the worse ever in USA history….what a fricking stain he is…. im not american and I feel ashamed just of watching him speak…. I wonder how americans feel…🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

  2. Since he wants to meet Jesus so bad just open a window in one of your crappy hotel's and take a dive you orange killer.

  3. It is simply not possible to listen to this orange monster! The whole world this laughing at this Incompetent clown – most likely the most despicable person in the US. Simply a disgusting human being.

  4. Get glasses, Mr. President dude! Watching you squint and struggle is painful. I argue with my brother about this. Maybe Trump, like my brother, thinks God will heal his eyes. Cuz right?

  5. It's not even funny anymore. Watching the Cretin In Chief struggle to construct a single sentence, and failing miserably, is disgusting. Tomorrow he will say how perfect his comments were. Stop sniffing you fucking mutation.

  6. The Ass Clown in the WH Djackass Drumpf says they are building a wall in Colorado! I guess for all the Republican't Republiclown's deplorables to live from the rest of the world!

  7. That someone like this exists is fine, but that he is taken seriously by so many people who voted for him , who support him, who would do harm for him, who would do crimes for him, hide crimes for him…is so utterly sad and soul suckingly depressing. It means that people put their worst personnel attributes of greed, hate, spite, gluttony, lust, pride before the good of all, before children's wellbeing, before humanity. Sins are real, sinners are real and the demons are loose on earth. I am not a religious person, but now I see the corruption and corpulence all around me, and am awake to sinister evil living on earth. And he is not even the worst there is on this earth. Just the head of one pustulent boil, on the body of humanity full of boils. How do we heal ourselves. I got to double my depression medication once I get some depression medication.

  8. If your still following trump you are stupid like really really really stupid… don’t reproduce we don’t need more idiots

  9. It absolutely amazes me that the president can just get up there and say words. None of them mean anything, he's literally just putting words together and saying them

  10. I’m selling ice-pick lobotomies to forget what trump has said. Short supply, come get one before it’s too late and trump’s stupidity is burned into your brain forever.

  11. This would be more hilarious if it wasn’t so disturbing. This is our LEADER! Holy crap, like he’s said himself, “we’re fucked”!

  12. One must appreciate amateur geopolitics approach of Colbert, Turkey and Russia will carve Syria??? Carving other people t6eritory was always UK and US specialty. Stephen Colbert is a WARMONGER.

  13. I dont know if this guy realizes he gets all of his views from talking about trump and politics he would be nothing if he didnt talk about this..

  14. No person in history makes it more obvious when he goes off scrip from the teleprompter. It's like the words are making sense for a few seconds then all of a sudden the brain says "Fuck this. I'm out".

  15. There he goes with the sniffing again….he's about to get self congratulatory or whine about being picked on, Poor orange baby…like he always does. When is this fat ass hat gonna just STFU??? Better yet, have a TRUE American soldier punch him in his fat pie hole for what basically is a form of stolen valor.

  16. not endless, all u need to do is just stop selling weapons and middle east will be way more peaceful than Europe or the americas

  17. Who listens to this guy and are enthusiastic? He is a bumbling idiot. And u have to be crazy to believe what he says. Trump supporters are dumb af!

  18. oh my god! this is not funny anymore. This man needs to be stopped before more people suffer and the world turns upside down.

  19. I would love to force-watch a hardcore MAGA Trumper this bit and ask them to explain all this and see them trying to squeeze in all kinds of moral twists and turns.

  20. the moron has no clue, believes Turkey, Syria, Lebanon, Iraq are nations in existence for centuries. Someone tell him about the Ottoman Empire. By the way, when he breathes, sounds like he is snorting, but what? Impeachment?

  21. Both sides of the Isles r controlled by AIPAC and MIC. So they show fake outrage for Kurds. Turkey need to do this to solve its refugee problem. USA supports Turkey because USA doesn't want to take any Syrian refugees from Trukey.

  22. Wow. tRump is clearly insane! That's so cool!! The commander in chief of a nuclear armed nation is whacked out on some kinda God-awful combination of stimulants!!

    Woohoo!!! Party till ya puke!!

  23. I am not an American so I have no political bias one way or the other. But I hate everything about this silly old man. His empty words, spilling out of his cat’s anus like mouth, only inspire the non thinkers or those who are as equally greedy and silly as he is. His followers are only thinking of themselves, not their country and the rest of its citizens.
    Leaders all over the world are taking us down a path to extinction, BUT he is the only one that makes no sense at all.
    He thinks he is still on his TV show. He sounds like a mother trying to convince a stubborn child to eat their peas. “They’re lovely, I love them, I cooked them they are great peas, the greatest peas…well it might be too soon to say greatest peas but they are great peas, I am very proud of my peas, they were great peas, thousands of them made the ultimate sacrifice for me and they are…blah blah blah.”
    fucken worm. He should find an apple and crawl into it.

  24. Djackass Drumpf is leading us into WWIII where we won't have any allies! Russia and China coming from either side and Russia through South America! When all is said and done Djackass hopes they will make him the ruler, king, emperor of the US for life, upon his death bed will pass the position to #1 dumb son!

  25. Your Party is a trainwreck:  Dems are literally fucking insane.  The new pro-war Dem (there is a whole crop from a field of Dems that has completely turned on Tulsi Gabbard, your only viable candidate) And they seem to fit in super nice, here with Colbert

  26. How the hell does a single person support this moron, let alone a supposed c.30% of your voting population? Ah…Fox News..

  27. It is so fucking obvious that he doesn't have the slightest idea what he's talking about and, as he's not been forced to work off a script, he is just fumbling his way through the most painful ad-lib I've ever watched a politician endure! Wow indeed!

  28. Wow this is fun! Remember the last time America didn’t do anything when a foreign military invaded a sovereign nation? It was the third reich. We ended up in WWII…

  29. Trump would be the world's worst poker player, he has a very obvious tell: every time he lies, he makes a weird sniffing noise!

  30. If someone gave this asshole a pill that provided self awareness and conscientiousness, he would immediately dive off the highest balcony he could find, and rightfully so, Orange assclown=mentally ill traitor.

  31. The Orange shit pile talks like a third grader on acid. No wonder the low IQ trash cheers him. He's even dumber than they are.

  32. He paused before saying Turkey. He couldn't even remember if he had the right country, or his favorite dinner. Cocaine is a HELL OF A DRUG! And not good for your heart wannabepresident.

  33. Congratulations comrade Trump! Your continued subservience and allegiance to the will and dictates of your lord and master has brought you one treason closer to realizing your goal of Trump Tower Moscow.

  34. So he's saying Syria and Russia had nothing to do with this outcome…that played strategically right into their hands…but we did it…

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